tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39133014369007214912011-08-01T16:13:47.138-05:00Here can be found the mad ravings of a caged Quadriplegic male. Come watch his silly antics as he cavorts and howls in his little enclosure. Please don't feed him, he will get fat. Thanks.Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.comBlogger361100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-30098725441956442742009-08-11T02:25:00.006-05:002009-08-11T03:52:10.003-05:00

It has been a highway to hell in these last months, my personal road to perdition. I have terrible painful wounds on my ass from pressure sores, I'm a quadriplegic and a convicted ex-felon but these things I take for granted. The constant pain, both from wounds and the even more poignant pain of being trapped in my own body are subtle distractions compared to losing my family.I loved my family.

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-86066500237865659752009-07-29T08:33:00.002-05:002009-07-29T08:46:42.804-05:00

In sombre dreams of infinitepassionate toil for sustenanceeloquent speeches go on deaf earsno reward for patient stupidityrambling out our worst fears toa cold audience no longer in tunewe wonder what happened to the pastto love and the spring of loveto feeling it so deep it hurtsand the pain of the loss of the drivethe push pull drive of true lovethe ache of losing it like danger andhate and no

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-7355168866824109972009-04-20T18:52:00.002-05:002009-04-29T18:57:34.475-05:00

That's right folks, Day 20 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Saint Anthony Patron Saint of BaconBased on the circumstances surrounding them, some Saints become patrons of people, occupations, places or things. It's never been easier or more affordable to bring the power of a Patron Saint to your aid. Each 3-3/4" (9.5 cm) tall, hard vinyl Saint comes with a 3" (7.6 cm) base and a removable

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-67084469423748216112009-04-19T18:41:00.002-05:002009-04-29T18:51:01.321-05:00

That's right folks, Day 19 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon: A Love Story: A Salty Survey of Everybody's Favorite MeatIt's salty, smoky, and sweet. It's experiencing a culinary renaissance. It can make almost any dish better. It's bacon, and it's the best meat ever. And now, here's the book that celebrates that deliciously sinful strip of cured pork belly. In Bacon: A Love Story,

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-38056367996723329212009-04-18T18:31:00.001-05:002009-04-29T18:40:44.045-05:00

That's right folks, Day 18 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon and Eggs AdultYes you too can dress like bacon. Eggs too, of course, but oh that hot sizzling bacon, Oh My!Costume includes: one (1) bacon tunic and one (1) egg tunic. Available in one size fits most adults, sizes Large/X-Large. Undershirts and pants not included. To honor Mr. Scalzi for having won some prize or nomination

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-46007049622707327192009-04-17T18:22:00.001-05:002009-04-29T18:31:08.788-05:00

That's right folks, Day 17 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Raw Bacon Weave CardholderFlash this very unique RAW Bacon Weave Card holder and instantly make alliances with other bacon fanatics ... Makes a great "going out" wallet , simple design carrys the essentials: business cards, credit cards, and ID's. Measures 2.75" x 4" when closed, with two clear pockets inside. Handmade in Los

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-78836475646121601032009-04-16T18:14:00.000-05:002009-04-29T18:20:34.919-05:00

That's right folks, Day 16 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Pugster Mmm Bacon Italian Charms Bracelet LinkExpress your own unique style by customizing your Italian charms bracelets! Pugster offers an array of exquisite & unique designed Italian Charms bracelets which is the ideal choice for any occasion. This Italian Charms Bracelet is a great addition for your dynamic charm collection.

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-34375782074393601252009-04-15T18:06:00.001-05:002009-04-29T18:14:08.646-05:00

That's right folks, Day 15 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Flavored ToothpicksThese slender sticks of wood are generously flavored with the unparalleled, drool-inducing flavor of bacon. Each 3" x 1-1/4" x 1/2" tin contains eighty toothpicks. You will receive two tins of toothpicks.To honor Mr. Scalzi for riding "Peppermint the Magic Cow" to work every morning, we ask that everyone

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-29056950659752249822009-04-14T17:57:00.000-05:002009-04-29T18:06:04.286-05:00

That's right folks, Day 14 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon WalletPut some hip into your hip pocket with one of these whimsical wallets! Each 4-1/4" x 3-3/4" (10.8 cm x 9.5 cm) faux leather wallet has plenty of pockets for your cold hard cash and copious cards. To honor Mr. Scalzi for eating nothing but low-fat cheese spread for the last ten days, we ask that everyone who knows him

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-30819656328739514902009-04-13T17:49:00.001-05:002009-04-29T17:56:06.309-05:00

That's right folks, Day 13 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu Action FiguresEach vinyl figure has bendable arms and legs. Mr. Bacon stands 5-5/8" tall Monsieur Tofu is 3-3/8" tall Illustrated window box. Bring home these snack-tion figures today!Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu are fired up and ready to rumble, but only one can remain at the top of the food chain! Mr.

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-309997079057907952009-04-12T17:39:00.002-05:002009-04-29T17:48:48.897-05:00

That's right folks, Day 12 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Flavor Dental FlossDentists recommend flossing and we recommend bacon! Now you can be improving your dental hygiene while enjoying the amazing flavor of crispy fried bacon. Is there anything bacon can't improve? Each plastic dispenser contains 27.3 yards of waxed floss.To honor Mr. Scalzi for an awfully good job of

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-81166116974012118632009-04-11T17:34:00.000-05:002009-04-29T17:38:46.637-05:00

That's right folks, Day 11 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:BACON BANDAGES3-3/4" tall reusable metal tin Contains 15 bandages Includes a FREE toy trinket to take your mind off of the excruciating pain While the bandaids are latex-free, the packaging of this product contains natural rubber latex which may cause allergic reactions The 3" x 1" Bacon Strips are cut to look like small slabs of

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-18538501858550710512009-04-10T17:26:00.000-05:002009-04-29T17:33:09.615-05:00

That's right folks, Day 10 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Air FreshenersLove Bacon? Then go ahead hang this air freshner anywhere Car, home, dorm air freshner. Just say no to pine trees! Our selection of Air Fresheners features fun images and enticing aromas! Each one measures about 4" (10.2 cm) and comes with a string for hanging.To honor Mr. Scalzi for loaning us a large sea

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-25991247440849492092009-04-09T17:14:00.000-05:002009-04-29T17:25:26.838-05:00

That's right folks, Day 9 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:BACON TREE!!This is a bacon tree that you can eat from! The bacon is precooked when it shows up on this bacon tree. Enjoy!Note: We are not altogether certain that this is a "real" tree, but we have hope.To honor Mr. Scalzi for his liberal views on conservativishness and polyamphoric residue we ask that everyone who knows him

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-71070704556590080792009-04-08T17:03:00.000-05:002009-04-29T17:13:32.476-05:00

That's right folks, Day 8 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Chocolate and Bacon Candy BarThe newest flavor from Vosges, the inimitable Mo's Chocolate and Bacon Candy Bar, combines smoky bacon and sweet milk chocolate. Vosges creator Katrina explains the origins of this unique combination: "Crisp, buttery, compulsively irresistible bacon and milk chocolate combination has long been a

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-29923623143362884652009-04-07T16:49:00.000-05:002009-04-29T17:02:34.080-05:00

That's right folks, Day 7 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:J&D's Baconnaise Bacon Flavored SpreadImagine the sweet paring of bacon and mayo in one big glop of wonderful fatty goodness and you are on your way to ultimate happiness with this delicious American treat!To honor Mr. Scalzi for washing his cat in baconaise we ask that everyone who knows him personally please buy him a case of

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-72419253178504404952009-04-06T16:38:00.000-05:002009-04-29T16:48:24.112-05:00

That's right folks, Day 6 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Flavored Jelly Beans in Bacon-Shaped Collectible TinIts a bacon bonanza! Sixty bacon flavored jelly beans come in each 6-1/2" x 1-1/2" x 1" bacon-shaped tin. Not quite as tasty as real bacon, but better for your arteries. To honor Mr. Scalzi for his long and bitter diatribes concerning the use of free-range clams we ask that

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-66031493186395227332009-04-05T01:00:00.003-05:002009-04-05T01:00:00.294-05:00

That's right folks, Day 5 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Flavored MintsEach one of these mints tastes like a delicious slice of crispy bacon with just a hint of mint flavor to give it that extra punch! It may sound weird but once you taste it, you will probably drop dead so what the heck! Try some today!To honor Mr. Scalzi for something we ask that everyone who knows him

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-55147425732236121182009-04-04T01:00:00.001-05:002009-04-04T01:00:00.317-05:00

That's right folks, Day 4 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Bacon Gumballs in Tin Yes, weve gone overboard with the "bacon" thing, but who can blame us? Bacon is a powerful force and we are but disciples doing our part to spread the gustatory gospel. Each 3.25" x 2.5" x .75" (8.3 cm x 6.4 cm x 1.9 cm) tin contains twenty-two bacon flavored gumballs. To honor Mr. Scalzi for having the

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-49806745936579781882009-04-03T19:01:00.005-05:002009-04-03T19:12:43.131-05:00

That's right folks, Day 3 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Breakfast For Nuclear FalloutMountain House® Freeze dried #10 can foods are Great tasting, High Quality, Light Weight, designed for Hearty servings and offer a super Long shelf life...up to 25 years! Stick a bunch of these in your nuclear fallout shelter and you'll never go a day underground without a big hearty breakfast. Simple

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-77502748320930551562009-04-02T23:14:00.005-05:002009-04-02T00:20:24.382-05:00

That's right folks, Day 2 of Bacon Month is here! Today's entry is:Uncle Oinker's Gummy BaconThese succulent strips of Gummy Bacon are so realistic you'll want to fry some up and serve them with an egg and a side of hash browns. But please don't. Gummy Bacon should only be savored raw. Each illustrated window box contains four 20 gram slices of strawberry flavored gummy meat sealed in a plastic

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-83128060522785624722009-04-01T16:41:00.010-05:002009-04-02T00:32:58.222-05:00

That's right folks, April is The Official Month of Bacon in honor of John Scalzi and the growing World-Wide Bacon Movement and Unification Rally! The WWBM was unwittingly started by Mr. Scalzi and his genius creation of Bacon Cat, in his almost constant pursuit of The Art of Netweird Madness. Now everyone on the internet is on fire for all things Bacon! To honor Mr. Scalzi for this totally

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-39505329861768342222009-02-27T09:56:00.002-06:002009-02-27T10:48:58.099-06:00

In the last two weeks I've had various run-ins with Wound Care. First the Hospital Variations; this is where you go to be viewed by the nurse, the doctor, another nurse, a nurse practitioner, some guy with a camera and another nurse.First the nurses gang up on you and toss you into bed, strip off your pants and roll you over to check out your ass. This might seem easy enough, especially for the

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-29101441349136862962009-02-14T11:56:00.002-06:002009-02-14T12:06:10.207-06:00

Blessed are the partners who constantly put up with our shit, take care of us and devote themselves to our relative wholeness and heathful welfare. So go forth and buy flowers thou and candy and sweet little teddy bears with red bows, and do giveth said items of meaningfulness to thine main squeeze. And let there be horniness and all things fruitful to your house or apartment, and yea even unto

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-54435666072149588912009-02-13T09:25:00.002-06:002009-02-13T10:00:40.367-06:00

It would be nice to get out of bed. You folks with jobs and busy lives may think, "gosh it would be nice to stay in bed", but believe me the reality of it sucks wads. Being a shut-in is one thing, being an enforced shut-in is quite another, and being forced to lay in bed for a year is really to be avoided at all costs. I, being in the third case myself, would not recommend it. What I wouldn't

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-28038951068984863122009-02-10T15:25:00.002-06:002009-02-10T15:39:25.642-06:00

Kinetic Concepts, Inc. (KCI) is a global medical technology company with leadership positions in advanced wound care, and they must employ the stupidest people on the planet. They have this wound care machine called a VAC which basicly constantly sucks the puss out of open wounds such as bed sores, medical wounds, etcetera. For a person with an open wound the VAC is a godsend since it keeps all

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-63998285797537057632009-02-10T14:43:00.004-06:002009-02-15T20:30:12.126-06:00

Pain sucks. I hate pain. Sure its got its uses, but on a daily basis I'd rather have something better, like new shoes or a good diseased goose liver. Of course goose liver for pain would get old too. My problem is that the pain is constant, but its not just the pain per se, but rather the effects of the pain that really blows.As a C6/7 quad, I have a certain protection from direct pain given that

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-6716554575992430262009-02-07T07:52:00.004-06:002009-02-07T08:09:15.093-06:00

No, really, this could go a long way towards explaining where souls come from. If everybody keeps reincarnating and there are more people now than there were like 50,000 years ago, then the souls must be coming from somewhere. So what if God crap is where souls come from? Sort of, you know, like fertilizer or something? Manure for the human race.

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-21999971019461366572009-02-07T07:06:00.002-06:002009-02-07T07:28:35.930-06:00

What if our toenails are really aliens? Maybe they are making little colonies under our beds. But its not the big ones we need to worry about, no sir. Them big ones are easy to get with a broom, vacume or one of those nifty dust mop things. No its the small ones that worry me. The broom skips over them too easily, and they stick in the rug so the vacume can't get them. And they laugh at dust mops

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-46428164507341904752009-02-07T01:31:00.001-06:002009-02-07T01:34:07.256-06:00

I have an idea. They (the physicists of fame) say black holes suck up all this energy, light, even time. The black hole sucks it all to a point of singularity, where it goes "poof". But the problem is there can't just be a "poof" because matter and energy cannot be destroyed. So what if black holes hold and store the energy at the point of singularity until a brane happens to run into the

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-78831797456843818262009-02-06T16:05:00.002-06:002009-02-06T16:10:03.021-06:00

listen yea fair folk and listen wellthis is the door to fairy hellthe iron gate to down belowthat leads to where the bogles gobeyond the gate a stair goes downbelow the earth far under groundit leads to a place of fire and airso i bid thee fair folk do bewarebeyond the stair is a tunnel all blackand if you go in you're not coming backfor it comes to a pit all full of fireand there the dark one

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-77368690477101890612009-02-06T11:28:00.001-06:002009-02-06T16:02:28.582-06:00

This is the story of Avalon Bek, a warrior, a scientist, a champion of justice, who got screwed by the "Powers That Be" and became thier tool. He was one of the first men to be implanted with the most advanced cutting edge micro science bio-computer hardware mankind had so far invented, and the first man cryofrozen and shot into space in a manned interstellar probe. He was also one of the first

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-57772059046191694012009-02-05T14:54:00.001-06:002009-02-06T16:01:35.779-06:00

This is the story of Avalon Bek, a warrior, a scientist, a champion of justice, who got screwed by the "Powers That Be" and became thier tool. He was one of the first men to be implanted with the most advanced cutting edge micro science bio-computer hardware mankind had so far invented, and the first man cryofrozen and shot into space in a manned interstellar probe. He was also one of the first

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-40889741418884520022009-02-04T00:36:00.000-06:002009-02-04T00:55:09.813-06:00

(Chorus) Lubrication Girl, In a messed up WorldShe's in astro glide with a real fine rideLubrication Girl, Lubrication GirlWith her liquid silk and her stroke machineShe's the slickist crime fighter you've ever seenShe will take you down so you better run'Cause she's coming for you with her hot grease gun(Chorus) Lubrication Girl, In a messed up WorldShe's in astro glide with a real fine

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-18798337608287111122007-04-29T18:30:00.001-05:002009-02-07T08:08:26.652-06:00

Dear Mister Fantasy play us a tune, something to make us all happy. Do anything, take us out of this gloom. Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy.You are the one who can make us all laugh. Doing this, you break down in tears. Please don't be sad. If it was a straight life you had, none of us would've known you all the years.Each time you choose to sing the rock & roll blues, you take

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3913301436900721491.post-23764709818817662692007-04-28T17:57:00.000-05:002009-02-04T20:16:22.323-06:00

Did I mention I hate Blogs? Well I do. Such a waste of time, and I have little to spare. Who, after all, wants to read my opinion, eh?Tonight is beer night however, where I and a bunch of my friends sit around, drink beer, eat pizza and play Dungeons and Dragons. Imagine the foolishness of it, a bunch of forty to fifty year old guys playing sillly games. Oh how joyously trivial it all seems. But

Fathercrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13265433784686041617noreply@blogger.com0